today... it said
fathers, beat your sons daily. even if you don't know why. your son will.
although it was kind of funny and sad at the same time.. i thought of 2 different messages from the old and new testaments.
Proverbs 13:24
24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Colossians 3:21
21Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.
as a kid... i was spanked often (mostly deserved... sometimes as the scapegoat for being eldest son)... but i think for the most part, it was beneficial. it put things into perspective and showed that there were consequences to my actions... i know that at the time that i was getting the business end of a belt/stick, i was resentful, but looking ack, i see how it helped shape who i am today... and prevented me from making the same mistakes twice
i love my kids.. but sometimes i think i cross into that range where i am crushing their spirits... by the looks i give them (sometimes that is all it takes), or the words that i use to embarrass them in from of their friends or neighbors, or the random and sporatic punishments that i dole out (grounding for not taking their walkie talkie that i got them so we can keep track of them... instead of giving them cell phones..) but i also love them enough to try and direct them in the 'right' direction and make sure that their behavior and how they act reflects greatly and leaves a lasting impression on those around them.
my wife and i asked them how many of the friend they hang out with have the original mom/dad living together as a family units.. and sadly.. they only knew of one family that was intact... the rest were from broken or mixed homes and sometimes were free to roam and behave in any many they chose. filthy language, topics of discussions, tv shows that they watched, video games they played.. were all above their age grade. 8 yr olds talking about how hot some guy is... 11 yr olds finding condoms at the neighborhood park... by the swing set... teen age arsonist lighting playground wood chips... just saying... if any one of us would have done that when we were younger, we would have paid with a pound of flesh or loss of priviledges for a long long time
i look at society now.. and i don't see parents doing the disciplining that we all got when we were growing up. i think it has something to do with our decision not to repeat our parents' mistakes or the line of thought that 'my kids are not going to have to go through what i did when i was a kid'
there is a sometimes a fine line between discipline and abuse.. and i think that parents are scared to even _try_. yes.. there is a difference between corporal punishment and a good ol beat down or hitting your kids as the only form of discipline
i just wish that there was an easy answer to disciplining our kids and not crushing their spirits or making them resentful... but like the struggle that we all go through, i think that coping with our pasts and preventing future hurts is a crutch and can cause just as much pain, damage and turmoil. sometimes a good beating is all we need
1 comment:
As, I am sure you well know, spanking and beating are (and should be) two different things. It is a hard decision when to use any particular form of punisment.
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